They All Fall Down
by Cateia
Summary: Firebase London was Hell on Earth, and that was before Harbinger arrived. Mass Effect 3 endgame fic. Paragon Destroy ending with high EMS. A series of vignettes to flesh out the endings for several major characters, including what happens to Shepard after she takes that quick breath just before the game credits roll. Rated M for violence, mature subject matter, and language.
1. Gone

**DISCLAIMER: BioWare's world, I'm just playing in their sandbox. Also, haven't beta'd this so any errors are mine.**

**Pairing: FemShep / Kaidan Alenko**

**Rating: M (violence, mature subject matter, language)**

_I just finished my "canon" playthrough of the Mass Effect trilogy. Kera Shepard is a Paragon Engineer who chose Destroy. I had very high EMS and got the so-called "special" ending. While I was happy with my ending, I feel like several opportunities to flesh out the stories of other major characters were missed. This story will take us through several of those scenes as the endgame events of Mass Effect 3 play out, including what happens after Shepard takes that breath before the game credits roll. I usually write Dragon Age fics, so this is new territory for me. I hope you all enjoy!_

* * *

_**Chapter One - Gone**_

"Major! Sir! You still with us?"

Kaidan Alenko woke with a start. The sound of rushing blood filled his ears as he opened his eyes and blackness faded from his periphery. He shook his head, searing pain overwhelming him as he tried to push himself up with a broken arm.

"Hey, hey, Major. Easy there," Vega muttered as he gingerly pulled Kaidan up to a sitting position. Only then could he see how much blood the Major had lost, how dire the situation was. He tried to speak again, to summon help, but his throat was too dry.

Just then, Commander Kera Shepard came around to the rear of the overturned tank to where her trusted soldiers sat, desperate to shield themselves from Harbinger's lethal beams. She stopped dead in her tracks, mouth agape, as she took in the sight of her beloved Kaidan covered in blood, his armor and body shattered after being struck by a flying tank.

Kera failed to hide the fear in her eyes as she frantically yelled into her comm piece. "Joker! Joker, do you copy! We need an evac! NOW!" She knelt down and eased Kaidan's limp arm around her shoulder. Vega mimicked her and together, they lifted the broken man gently to his feet.

"JOKER! DO YOU COPY?"

A tense silence.

A brief splutter of static.

Kera thought her heart might just stop before Kaidan's—if Joker wasn't responding, if the Normandy was lost…no. _Can't be. Joker's the best damn pilot in the Galaxy. He'll be here. It's just the beam interfering with communications…but shit…this is taking way too long. I hope Dr. Chakwas has enough units of blood, of medi-gel…_

The roar of the Normandy's oversized FTL drive drowned out the rest of Kera's fears as it descended at the edge of the battlefield. Kera and Vega exchanged a glance behind Kaidan's lowered head and they walked quickly, smoothly, as if hovering above the ground as they delivered the Major to the open bay door of the Normandy.

As soon as Vega and Kaidan were in the bay, Kera jumped to the ground. _They're safe. Kaidan will be okay. He has to be. If anyone's making a one-way trip…_

"Go-go-go!" Kera yelled into her comm piece. The Normandy started to gain altitude. Kaidan lifted his head just enough to catch Kera's eyes. The hurt in his light brown eyes made the Commander's heart drop into the pit of her stomach. No words were needed—they'd said their goodbyes a few hours earlier—but this time, when their eyes locked…they both knew this was the last time they'd see each other. _Too loud for words…but what do you say in a moment like this anyway?_ Kera bit on the inside of her lower lip to steady the quivering, to stave off the hot tears that threatened to spill over.

"Commander, I'm coming with you," Vega said as he started to hand Kaidan's limp body over to the crew members gathered to receive him.

Kera put a single hand up, shaking her scarlet bob. "No, James. That's an order. Take care of Kaidan, and take care of the crew."

James started to argue, but as he opened his mouth he noticed her glistening eyes…then the hard set of the Commander's jaw. _She doesn't think she's coming back…_ He gave Kera a final, stiffer-than-normal salute as the Normandy rose into the smoke-filled sky. James watched intently as the cargo bay door closed around his view of Kera, and just like that…she was gone. He swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut briefly before turning around and helping the other crew members carry Kaidan to the medical bay.

Moments later, the group burst through the door of the medical bay. Dr. Chakwas looked up from wound she was tending and gasped as James placed Kaidan on an open table.

"My goodness! What happened here, Mr. Vega?"

"Flying tank, ma'am. The Major only took a glancing blow, but…"

"Mr. Vega, the best armor money can buy can_not_ shield a soldier from _that_," Karin said as she passed her omni-tool over Kaidan's body, scanning him. She looked at the readout and cringed. "Nurse, would you bring me three units of B-positive and two medi-gel packs, please?"

A petite blonde grabbed two medi-gel packs from the storage cabinet and began rummaging through a large refrigeration unit. Moments later, she stepped away from the cooler and checked a log book nearby.

"Doctor, we just threw out the last B-positive…it was past expiration."

Dr. Chakwas' face blanched. _Where am I going to find B-positive blood in a war zone?_

"B-positive, you say?" James said, looking at his arm. "I'm B-positive. My blood won't mess up his biotics, will it?"

"Mr. Vega, you are a saint," Karin said breathily as she motioned for the nurse to bring a transfusion kit. "Major Alenko's biotics won't be affected in the slightest. Sit here, and push that button to raise the bed. I need you higher than Kaidan so the blood will transfuse properly."

James sat on the cold metal table and pressed the 'up' arrow on the railing's directional pad. The table's servo gears whined under the weight of the bulky soldier but, sure enough, it rose. He watched as Dr. Chakwas applied medi-gel to Kaidan's exposed wounds and deftly pricked his hand with the transfusion kit. She then turned around and peaked an eyebrow at James.

"Oh, right." James unfolded his arms and held them out for the doctor. She quickly found a suitable vein and stuck him.

"You know, you're pretty good, Doc. Hardly even felt it."

"Please, Mr. Vega, I've stuck more soldiers than you've shot, I'm sure of it," the silver-haired woman said dryly. "Now squeeze on this, or the blood won't flow." She shoved a bright red foam ball into James' hand. He clenched it tightly. "No, no…squeeze and release, over and over…there." Dr. Chakwas passed her omni-tool over the soldier's body and punched a few buttons. "I'm gonna get you a glucose tablet and medi-gel for your own wounds."

James scoffed at the diagnosis. "_My_ wounds? I don't feel any pain. I'm fine. Good to go."

"You know, the power of the human body, particularly adrenaline response, has always fascinated me. You have two broken ribs, Mr. Vega. You're lucky you didn't puncture a lung while carrying Major Alenko."

"Two broken—huh," James muttered as the doctor walked towards the rear of the medical bay. Only then did he feel the stabbing pain in his side. Instinctively, he made his breathing more shallow as he looked down at Kaidan, who was hovering on the edge of unconsciousness again.

Kaidan turned his head towards James. "Thanks," he whispered, giving Vega a weak smile before his eyes fluttered shut.

James squeezed the little red ball rapidly, willing his blood to flow faster.

The petite blonde nurse approached and gently placed her hand on James'. "Now, now, Mr. Vega...we can't take too much of your blood. You need it for yourself."

James shook his head in self-chastization. "You're right…sorry…I just—"

"I know, you only want to help the Major. Our bodies make more blood all the time. He only needs a little of yours to help him do that," the nurse said, flashing a shy smile at the handsome soldier.

James nodded and returned the smile. He was about to ask the blonde her name when Dr. Chakwas returned. The nurse scurried away to check on another patient.

Karin Chakwas looked at James, then at the furiously blushing nurse and clucked her tongue. "Now is not the time for fraternizing, Mr. Vega," she teased as she handed two glucose tablets to James. "Put those in your mouth. Do _not_ chew them. Let them dissolve slowly, or else the glucose won't absorb properly."

James nodded and put the tablets in his mouth. They were orange-flavored and so tart, he involuntarily puckered his lips for a moment. Dr. Chakwas administered the pack of medi-gel and, moments later, the stabbing in James' ribs stopped. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs without pain. Dr. Chakwas smirked as she withdrew the needle from his arm and applied pressure to the puncture site with a square of gauze.

Vega flashed a wide grin at the veteran physician. "Thanks, Doc. You're a keeper, y'know?"

Dr. Chakwas chuckled lightly, covering the gauze with a bandage. "You as well, Mr. Vega. Now get to quarters and stay there. You're going to be quite light-headed for a while. Major Alenko can thank you for your donation when you return."

"Yes ma'am. Thank you, ma'am," Vega said, standing with a salute. He spun on the balls of his feet and left the medical bay. Passing wordlessly through the crewmembers scrambling about, he reached the elevator and punched the floor number. As the lift jerked into motion, James rested his forearm against the cool metal wall. Forehead met forearm and he let out a huge sigh.

"Dammit, Shepard…why'd you have to run off like that? Who's got your six," he muttered.

The elevator doors opened and James walked towards his bunk, trying to will away the dizziness from blood loss, too much sugar, and military-grade medi-gel. When he reached his bed at last, the wearied soldier plopped down on the edge and buried his face in his hands.

"C'mon, Commander, you got this." _You have to complete the mission. We need you. What was that Salarian always saying…someone else might have gotten it wrong? Yeah. Only this time, there IS no one else._


	2. Hackett Out

**Chapter Two – Hackett Out**

Admiral Steven Hackett stood at-ease in the War Room, arms behind his back, observing the screens around him as the Reapers tore through the fleet amassed by Commander Shepard. He was safe, for the moment, aboard the flagship of the Fifth Fleet as it guarded the vulnerable Crucible.

A crewmember ran up behind him, thrusting forward a datapad with the latest reports from Earth. He gave a quick salute before retreating. Hackett read it quickly, then let his hand fall to his side, in disbelief of the news it contained.

He smiled to himself. _I knew it. Shepard doesn't know how to fail. _

"Holy shit, she did it," he muttered, leaning over the railing surrounding the war map and hesitating for only a moment. Hackett shook his head lightly, still amazed. "Johnson, hail the entire fleet."

The Lieutenant punched a few buttons at his comm station. "Aye, Sir. Open, Sir."

Hackett cleared his throat and spoke in his characteristically gruff tone. "This is the Admiral. We've got reports that _someone_ made it to the Citadel. We need to give them time to get those arms open. All fleets. Converge on the Crucible. Protect it at all costs." He nodded towards Johnson to close the channel and let his head drop, taking several slow, deep breaths as he felt his ship move despite the active inertial dampeners.

_Could this be it? Could this damn war finally be over? Does Shepard—or whoever made it through—have enough left to complete the mission? Godspeed, Commander…or whoever is up there. _

The war map flashed with activity as the fleet gathered around the Crucible. Some of the flashes turned yellow as they moved—signalling their destruction—but, thankfully, the majority of the ships that were left stayed blue as they took positions around the massive weapon. _If it even __is__ a weapon. We still don't know __what__ this thing is gonna do once we combine it with the Catalyst. _Red blips—comically inadequate in representing the mass of the Reaper vessels—split between guarding the Citadel, continuing the assault against Earth, and attempting to cut through the allied fleet. Hackett frowned at the map, knowing it wouldn't be long before the Reapers overwhelmed the fleet surrounding the Crucible.

"Johnson, raise Admiral Anderson on the comms. I want to know who it was that went through the beam."

The young lieutenant nodded and started punching buttons on the comm system as he pressed against one cup of his headset. He listened intently, grimacing after several moments and pulling his bulky headset off in frustration.

"Sir, I can't get him to respond."

Hackett folded his arms. "Hail the Normandy. He may have already been extracted." He crossed the room and stood behind the lieutenant.

Lt. Johnson punched a few more commands into his station touchscreen. "SSV Normandy, this is Fifth Fleet Command, do you copy?" He let out a relieved huff when Joker responded. "Joker, is Admiral Anderson onboard your vessel? I can't raise him on direct comm link…oh. No, that's alright. Thank you. Fifth Fleet out."

"This isn't…have the fleet channel ready to open on my signal, lieutenant." Hackett muttered as he stood upright and strode back to his usual place. _Maybe he's the one who made it through the beam. If that's the case…if we've lost Shepard…no. Can't dwell on that. _He paced slowly, staring at the blips on the war map as the rest of the fleet amassed itself around the Crucible.

Several long minutes passed. Hackett hadn't noticed that everyone in the War Room was now stock-still, waiting for any sign that the person who made it through had managed to open the Citadel's arms.

A click broke the silence. "Admiral, the Citadel arms are opening."

"Thank goodness," Hackett grumbled as he nodded to Johnson. "This is it, everyone. The arms are opening." He watched on-screen as the Crucible was guided into place, the massive device shedding now-unneeded pieces of shielding as it slowly inched towards what was once the Presidium Ring.

"Ten seconds to contact," the Admiral muttered to the waiting fleet as the Crucible opened four arms of its own, clamping each to the Presidium Ring as the spherical bulk of the weapon inched the rest of the way home. It met with the central hub of the ring and lit up. "That's it, the Crucible is docked."

Hackett looked at the remote sensor readouts for the Crucible and frowned. _Why is it not working? What more do we need to do? _He rushed to the communications station. "Try again to get Shepard or Anderson up on comms, Johnson. Maybe now that the Crucible is docked, we can get through."

"Aye, Sir…" Johnson's fingers danced across the touchscreen, and he leaned back after his hails finally got a response, seemingly stunned at the result. _Huh. _"Commander Shepard's channel is open, Sir."

Hackett's eyes grew wide. _She __did__ make it. _"Shepard? Commander!"

A wearied voice, heavy with pain, groaned back. "I..uh…what do you need me to do?"

The admiral adjusted the brim of his cap as he listened to Kera's strained grunts and gasps. …_I hope she has enough left... _"Nothing's happening. The Crucible's not firing. It's gotta be something on your end." A long pause, broken only by continued scuffling and moans, followed. Guilt racked the admiral as he barked his next words. "Commander Shepard!" _She's struggling…but we can't lose her now…not when we're so close…is it wrong to exercise authority in a moment like this, to call upon her sense of duty? Surely she understands…that's why she's the best damn soldier I've ever known. _

Another pause. More labored breaths. Finally, Shepard responded. "I don't see…I-I'm not sure h-how to…" A solid thud ended the transmission.

Hackett's heart skipped a beat. "Commander!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but the channel has been closed," Johnson muttered softly. He tried to reopen the channel, with no luck. "It's being blocked, sir."

The admiral glared at the young man. "Blocked?"

Johnson tried to reopen the channel and scrunched his face as his attempt was met again with a high-pitched squeal. "Yes. Someone—or _something_—is on the Citadel with the Commander."

Hackett's lips drew into a thin line as he nodded grimly. "Keep trying. Let me know the instant you open the channel again." He walked back to his usual place at the rail to watch the viewscreen. He leaned forward, staring at the point where Crucible met the Presidium Ring, intent on catching the first sign of activity so he could alert the fleet to fall back.

Admiral Hackett could have sworn he stood like that for hours, waiting…hoping.

Then, finally, something happened.

The ensign monitoring the Crucible's sensors cried out, breaking the tense silence. "Admiral, sensors indicate something is happening on the Crucible."

Just then, Hackett noticed the docking point of the Crucible started to emit a bright red glow. Hackett turned to Johnson. "Fleet. _NOW_."

Johnson nodded, opened the channel, and gave a thumbs-up.

"All fleets! The Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point." The red glow emanating from the Crucible began to spread, but the fleet wasn't moving fast enough. "I repeat; disengage and get the hell out of here," Hackett barked. He shifted his weight to adjust for the flagship's tight turn as the pilot started to guide the ship towards the rendezvous point. The Admiral made a slashing motion towards Johnson to close the channel and alternated between watching the rapidly-shrinking view of the Crucible on-screen and monitoring the war map as blip after blip started to move out.

The Normandy wasn't moving, and its proximity to the Crucible all but assured the ship's destruction when the weapon fired.

_Come on, Moreau. Disengage, dammit! _A brief wave of panic washed over the Admiral. "Hail the Norman—never mind. They're moving now." _Here's hoping Shepard made it back. _

The sinking feeling in the pit of the grizzled Admiral's stomach, however, told him that the Commander had gone on her last mission.

"I'll be in my ready room," Hackett grumbled to his XO as he stepped away from the railing surrounding the war map.

Hackett walked quickly, hands behind his back, staring at the floor as he moved. As soon as he reached the ready room, the Admiral opened a desk drawer and pulled out a flask of Peruvian whisky and looked out his observation window. He couldn't see the Crucible, or even Earth anymore as he took a long pull. As he pulled the flask away from his lips, Admiral Hackett held it out in the general direction of Earth.

"Here's to you, Kera Shepard, wherever you are."


	3. Run Like Hell

_She'll make it._

Jeff "Joker" Moreau chewed on his lower lip as he monitored the Commander's comm channel. It wasn't unusual for Shepard to come straggling out of burning wreckage at the last possible moment—but this was _really_ pushing the limit. A moment before, Admiral Hackett had called for all ships to disengage and head for the rendezvous point.

The Admiral's voice broke through again. "I repeat, disengage and get the hell out of here!"

_She'll make it. Shepard always makes it. Shit. Shit, shit, shit! _The Normandy's helmsman resumed his pre-FTL flight preparations, flipping from virtual screen to virtual screen with one hand, desperately trying to raise the Commander on comm link with the other.

Joker was so consumed by this, he didn't even notice Garrus and Specialist Traynor had entered the cockpit. The Turian's large hand rested gently on his shoulder.

"Joker, listen. We _have_ to go," Garrus said softly.

Behind him, Joker heard Traynor's muffled sob.

Deep down, Joker knew Garrus was right. It felt so wrong to leave, knowing the Commander was still on the Crucible, but to delay any longer would certainly doom the Normandy and all aboard her. Either way, either decision, was issuing a death sentence.

"Dammit," he muttered, clenching a fist in an attempt to reign in his emotions. He took a moment to steal a quick breath, then called up the coordinates for the rendezvous point and steered the ship in a hard 90-degree turn. Garrus and Traynor left the cockpit.

"Protocol required you to follow orders, Jeff," EDI said rather crisply as soon as the others were gone. She paused and looked at the distraught helmsman, the mechanical pupils of her eyes contracting and dilating again as the AI processed his body language and calculated the appropriate response. "Given the current status of the Crucible, it is highly unlikely that Commander Shepard would have returned—"

"Thank you, EDI," Joker growled. "Prepare for FTL jump on my mark."

"I…" EDI trailed off as she resumed her duties, confused by his hostile response. She tilted her head as she went through the Normandy's systems. "Jeff, I am detecting a problem with the navigational system. We are too close to the Crucible. It is interfering. We need to increase our distance from the weapon before we can activate the FTL drive."

"Understood," Joker muttered as he chastised himself. _Waited too long, now the whole crew's gonna bite it. Way to go, Joker. _He quickly brought the Normandy up to full impulse. "Let me know as soon as the interference is gone."

EDI nodded sharply. She paused for a moment to process information, her eyelashes fluttering rapidly as she did so. "Jeff, the rate at which the disruption from the Crucible is spreading outpaces the Normandy's impulse speed by a rate of 2.7 to 1. I am uncertain we will be able to gain the required distance to eliminate the interference."

"Shit. EDI, can you boost the output of the impulse engines?"

"I can try…yes. Impulse engines are now operating at 110% of nominal range. The disruption is now only outpacing us by 2 to 1."

"Are we any closer to clearing it?"

Another brief pause. More fluttering eyelids and dancing fingers. "…I have increased the output of the impulse engines to 125%. We are outpaced at a rate of 1.2 to 1. However, at this rate, the impulse engines will overheat and shut down in 45 seconds."

"FTL jump as soon as it's ready, EDI. Don't check with me first. Just do it."

Precious seconds ticked by as Joker waited for EDI to activate the Normandy's FTL drive. He watched her at work, transfixed by her ability to process so much information—so many commands—at the same time. _She is incredible. I'm the luckiest guy in the galaxy._

_Ten seconds._

Joker shifted in his seat and checked to make sure the impulse engines were at full throttle—again.

_Twenty seconds._

Joker's pulse quickened and his palms began to sweat.

_THIRTY seconds._

"Jeff, the disruption's rate of expansion has increased five fold in the last 35 milliseconds. I do not think—"

A massive roar drowned out EDI's words as a bright red shimmer became visible out of the Normandy's cockpit. The frigate rocked violently and alarms started to sound, filling the space with a cacophony of bells, buzzes, beeps, and flashing lights. Virtually every system of the ship was showing some sort of malfunction. To make matters worse, the electronic flight controls and impulse engines had gone offline. The Normandy was flying at maximum impulse velocity, and if Joker didn't activate the manual flight controls soon, the ship would hurtle helplessly towards the nearby planet.

"EDI! Help me out here…what's happening?"

No response.

Joker looked over towards the AI. "EDI—_EDI_!" Panic overtook him and his heart leapt into his throat as he took in the sight of his beloved, slumped over her station, as if she was sleeping.

_WHAT'S WRONG WITH EDI? WHAT THE SHIT!_

Joker looked out of the cockpit. The nearby planet was growing closer and closer. Years of flight training kicked in at last. He could fly the Normandy without a VI or AI.

He just didn't _want_ to.

Joker activated the manual flight controls and started to guide the helpless vessel as it was sucked into the gravitational pull of the nearby planet and plummeted towards the surface. As soon as the Normandy emerged from the upper atmospheric burn-through he engaged the air brakes, but quickly found the ship was simply going too fast for them to be fully effective. Joker had to think fast. Activating the venting system, he used it to provide a tiny bit of reverse thrust to slow the Normandy's descent and managed to guide her towards a thick jungle. The hull would get scraped and dinged, but having to do a few patch jobs would beat the hell out of experiencing a full impact. _I will NOT lose the Normandy twice._

He hit the ship's address button. "All hands, brace for impact. It's gonna be a real rough landing, folks."

Joker took his own advice and quickly buckled his safety harness. Pulling back as hard as he could on the flight stick to keep the nose up, he gritted his teeth as the ground grew closer and closer. The helmsman hit the vent exhaust one last time before everything went black.

"Joker…hey, you alright?" Kaidan asked as he gently shook the helmsman's shoulder. Garrus stood right behind him. "Garrus, go get Dr. Chakwas, Joker's out cold." The Turian beat a hasty retreat.

Kaidan nudged Joker again, who finally woke with a start. "Huh, oh hey. Kaidan. Shouldn't you be in the medical bay?"

"I think you need to be there more than me, right now. Dr. Chakwas is on the way. And yes, the marvels of modern medicine…I'll have a limp for a bit, but I feel pretty good considering I nearly died." The Major glanced over at EDI, still slumped over her station. "Hey…what's with EDI?"

Still groggy, Joker shook his head. "Wha—?" He looked over and the panic he'd felt before impact came back tenfold. He struggled to get out of his chair, pausing to unbuckle his safety harness.

"Easy, Joker. You were out for quite a while. I don't think you should move until Dr. Chakwas gets here. Let me look at her," Kaidan urged, approaching the AI. "EDI? Wake up, we've landed."

No response. The mechanical pupils of her eyes were blown, mouth slightly agape. Kaidan searched her body for some kind of power or reset button, but came up empty. He cast a puzzled glance towards Joker, whose eyes welled up with tears as they both realized they didn't know how…or _if_…EDI could be rebooted. Joker sniffled hard, trying not to cry.

Before either man could say a word, Dr. Chakwas strode into the cockpit. "Mr. Moreau, Garrus informed me that you were knocked unconscious during the crash landing. I'd like to check you out, make sure you're alright."

"Forget about me, I'm fine. Can you do anything for her?" Joker looked at EDI with a pained expression.

Dr. Chakwas' heart ached for the young man. "Oh, Joker, I'm so sorry…I really am afraid I know nothing about synthetics…perhaps Tali could be of assistance."

"I'm going to go talk to the XO, find out what we can about this planet and the Normandy's systems. If I see Tali, I'll tell her to go to the medical bay," Kaidan said, giving Joker a sympathetic look before disappearing through the cockpit door.

Garrus rushed in, moments after Kaidan left. "Oh, Joker. Thank goodness you're awake. Will you need help to the medical bay?"

Dr. Chakwas looked up from her omni-tool. "Mr. Vakarian, can you take EDI to the medical bay? I'll have Tali meet you there,"

Garrus glanced at the AI and was shocked to see her in such a state. Swallowing hard, he nodded and carefully scooped EDI up in his arms. "We'll do all we can, Joker," he said solemnly, and as quickly as he'd arrived, the Turian was gone again.

Dr. Chakwas scanned Joker with her omni-tool, paying close attention to his head. "You have a mild concussion but, other than that, you're fine. Your clavicles have hairline fractures, but I suspect that's from the harness. That experimental treatment for your Vrolik Syndrome really seems to be helping."

Joker let out a frustrated huff. "Yeah…hey…do we even know what planet we're on? Is it habitable? Because I kinda…vented most of our air reserves to slow the ship's speed." He leaned over his controls and activated the emergency signal beacon.

Karin shook her head and administered a medi-gel pack. She helped him to his feet and grimaced. "Our sensors are offline, Mr. Moreau. Someone is going to have to test the waters, so to speak. But that we are in a lush jungle certainly seems promising."

Joker started to hobble towards the cockpit door. He paused, bracing himself against the wall and looking down at his feet. "I'll do it. I got us into this mess because I waited too long to leave the Commander."

"And who will fly this ship if you perish," Dr. Chakwas demanded, folding her arms across her chest and shifting her weight.

"EDI," Joker shot back without hesitation, disbelieving that her condition would be permanent. But as soon as her name slipped from his lips, Joker wondered if he really thought she would be fine, or if he was just lying to himself because thinking about losing her was too much to bear.

"Very well," Dr. Chakwas said with a dismissing wave of her hand, shooing Joker out of the cockpit.

Joker made his way to the airlock. He had started to pull on an environmental suit when the door opened and Kaidan walked in.

"You won't need that, Joker. We're on Nevos. The air will be just fine, as will the Normandy, as soon as Engineer Adams gets the FTL drive back on line." The Major hit the outer airlock button before Joker could protest.

The door lifted, revealing a sunny, lush, temperate, and _breathable_ environment. Joker disentangled his feet from the environmental suit and made his way down the ramp first. Kaidan soon joined him and the two looked at the twin moons in the distance.

Joker looked over at the Major and opened his mouth as though to speak, but quickly shut it again when he realized that Commander Shepard probably wasn't the best topic right now. _I __did__ pretty much murder his girlfriend when I left her behind._

Kaidan noticed Joker's hesitation and gave him a weak smile, slinging one arm around the helmsman's shoulders for a quick hug.

"Well ain't this a big ol' love fest," James teased as he approached the men from behind. He took in a deep breath, filling his lungs with the sweet air. "Ahhhhhhh. Hey, this is Nevos, ain't it? The Asari planet? Mmmmm, I could go for a pretty blue babe or two after dealing with all those Reapers." He slapped the men's backs, sending Joker stumbling forward slightly. "Anyway, Tali's looking at EDI right now, Joker, if you want to go check in with her."

"Thanks, Vega," Joker muttered as he walked up the ramp as quickly as he could. His heart was racing, and he felt like the medical bay became further away with every step he took. Finally reaching the bay doors, Joker entered. EDI was lying on her side on the examination table, her hair flipped up like an access panel so Tali could examine her.

"Is she going to be alright, Tali?" Joker hunched over the AI, gently taking EDI's hand in his.

"I…don't understand…what…how…" Tali muttered to herself as she probed the AI's "brain" and worked furiously on her omni-tool. After a few tense moments of this, Tali leaned away from EDI and took a deep breath to steady herself.

"I don't know any other way to say this, Joker, so I'll just say it. EDI's neural network has been fused. There's nothing I can do." Tali's voice broke as she choked out the last sentence.

The last sentence hadn't registered with Joker yet before he started to demand answers. "What does that even mean, fused? Can you swap it out, like a memory chip?"

Tali stared at the floor and shifted her weight. "I'm afraid not, Joker. EDI's neural net is the equivalent to our brain. It's not something you can just…_switch out_. It's the very essence of who she _is_…and when neural networks fuse, the data is unrecoverable. I'm sorry."

The technical jargon had flown over his head, but Tali's second apology did not, and reality began to set in.

"She's…gone?" Joker doubled over like he'd been punched in the gut, steadying himself on the examination table.

Tali nodded somberly and lowered her head, muttering something in Quarian that Joker couldn't quite make out. She walked towards the exit, pausing to place a hand on Joker's shoulder for a brief moment.

"If it means anything…it was instantaneous, Joker. She felt nothing." Tali gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze and left him in the medical bay with EDI.

As soon as she left, Joker broke. He pulled EDI off the examination table and into his lap as he collapsed into the chair beside it, cradling her body in his arms. Joker felt a crack in his leg as EDI's weight settled on it, but he didn't care. He leaned down and kissed her lips, hoping against hope that somehow, it would help.

Pressing his forehead to her cheek, he started to whisper. "EDI, sweetheart…Tali said you're gone, so I don't think you can hear me, but if you can…I'm so, so sorry I snapped at you. I should have apologized right away but I thought I'd have time to later and I can't believe that…that it…it…was the last thing I said to you." Tears streamed down Joker's cheeks as he sobbed miserably, rocking back and forth with his love in his arms. "No. _NO_. It can't end like this! You're going to be fine. You're an AI. We'll just download…"

Joker let his words drift off as he stared into EDI's vacant eyes for several long, painfully silent moments. He thought about Tali's words, how the very essence of EDI had been destroyed. There was nothing left of her to download. He nodded grimly, accepting her fate as he slowly closed her membranous synthetic eyelids. Sweeping his fingers gently across EDI's cold, smooth cheekbone, he removed his errant tear that had beaded there.

"You were perfect…and I will always love you, EDI."


End file.
